How to Cope with and support friends with Secondary Infertility

It is not much talked about and very emotional for couples who are facing secondary infertility. Most times, the woman goes through all sorts of complicated and conflicting emotions tied to this loss of control, especially if it was very easy getting pregnant for the first time. There is really no easy way to accept the painful truth.

Here are few strategies to help Couples or support friends experiencing Secondary infertility:

  1. Get a supportive gynecologist that understands and take your concerns seriously
  2. Reframe your negative thoughts looking at your situation in a different way.
    says Murphy. If you’re worried about raising an only child and reading articles or books about the experience of only children.
  3. Both partners should talk about their situation, as it appears one partner may be fine with an only child while the other is not. As such, trying out fertility treatments may results in resentment, frustration, and anger.
  4. Be understanding and show emotional support to friends
  5. Take care of yourselves and focus on your family life. Ensure you share rich and memorable moments with one another as a family. Don’t let this situation steal your joy. Enjoy every moment you share.
  6. Research about secondary infertility, and be prepared for uncomfortable conversations.
  7. Indulge in activities that are emotionally therapeutic which helps releases pent up emotional feelings.
  8. Don’t complain about your pregnancy to a woman with secondary infertility, it is emotionally draining.
  9. Be sensitive about jokes and topics relating to their experiences and situation.
  10. Abstain from alcohol, caffeine and cigarettes.
  11. DOn’t be hard on yourself, live and eat healthy.


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Support from family and friends is a very welcome gesture, it shows we have a shoulder to always lean and cry on. I have a friend who calls me regularly from the UK to encourage me. few others here in Nigeria who are very sensitive to my needs. It is really really heartwarming.