There are no fast rules, you only need to be sensitive, sympathetic and please don’t sound pitiful. We don’t want to be pitied. If you don’t know what to say, just give us a hug, don’t ask us unnecessary questions like how did it happen? Don’t tell us it’s God’s will, Don’t say you know how it feels except you’ve lost one before. The pain is always fresh every second of our lives, be nice and don’t be inconsiderate.
How to Support
- Encourage their loss
- Call and check up on them
- Don’t take their behaviour personally, they are hurting
- Be a listening ear
- Show them, love
- Ask how you can assist them (house chores, market runs, cooking etc)
- Use words they are using
- Show them love and that you will always be around for them
- Acknowledge them as parents
- Don’t blame or criticize them based on what you have heard e.g their lifestyle or way of life.